Lorna Smith Benjamin of University Of Utah, said at the American Psychological Association 2007 Convention Presentation said that “people are helped most if they can learn to recognize and change their interpersonal and intrapsychic patterns and processes, however they also have to learn how to challenge old urges and injunctions, and how to learn new patterns.”
What Some of Our Clients Have to Say:
Seeing myself through the eyes of others ...
“Ally held up a mirror that allowed me to see myself like others do.” GMP, Mondeor
Freedom...
“ I inherited a share in our family business when our parents died in a car accident four years ago and as the youngest child and only son I had a tough time coping with the responsibility at the age of twenty. My elder sisters were much more experienced but they criticized everything I did. It was my first time in a job and I made a lot of mistakes because I did not know much about running a business. I felt like one big mistake and I was more stressed than I had ever been before. My recreational habit turned into something I needed to get me out of bed every day and eventually I needed to smoke a joint at the office to help me get through the morning. Then I would mess up some more because I was too stoned to do my job. My sisters threatened to kick me out of the business if I didn’t get my act together.
Signature Strengths Training with Ally helped me to understand that I can change things in my life and that I have choices. I realized I actually didn’t want to work in the family business and I told my sisters the truth. What I really want to do is to be a travel journalist and I have negotiated with my sisters that I will take a job in communications at the office while I study journalism part time. They pay me a small salary and I only work a couple of hours a day. I don’t need to smoke joints any more to get through the day and it feels as if I can breathe freely for the first time since my folks died. My lecturers say I am a natural, and I have published three articles since I started studying. This is a good place for me and I am planning a trip around the world as soon as I finish my course.” Cal M, Kayalami
Signature Strengths Training with Ally helped me to understand that I can change things in my life and that I have choices. I realized I actually didn’t want to work in the family business and I told my sisters the truth. What I really want to do is to be a travel journalist and I have negotiated with my sisters that I will take a job in communications at the office while I study journalism part time. They pay me a small salary and I only work a couple of hours a day. I don’t need to smoke joints any more to get through the day and it feels as if I can breathe freely for the first time since my folks died. My lecturers say I am a natural, and I have published three articles since I started studying. This is a good place for me and I am planning a trip around the world as soon as I finish my course.” Cal M, Kayalami
New career....
“I was working in as a project manager in a large bank’s IT department and having finished my MBA the year before, I was experiencing great frustration that my management would not promote me or give me a raise. I was still earning the same salary as before I completed my degree and even though I really applied myself, my income remained exactly the same. My wife was earning a lot more than me as a lecturer and she never let me forget it. We wanted to start a family but until I earned significantly better, this would not be possible.
Someone recommended Signature Strenghts Training with Alletia and I was flabbergasted when Alletia suggested that I should consider a total career change and moving away from the management career path I had been on for a few years at the bank. I knew that my tenure at the bank represented security, a small but guaranteed bonus, great colleagues and an environment that I was familiar with. Alletia’s suggestion that I quit my job and become a sales representative because that is what I am good at was threatening and did not make any sense, but then again, I had been supplementing my income at the bank by selling paint part time for the past two years… I am the sales director now for a multi-national IT service provider, I have divorced my previous wife and I have met and married a gentle girl who is pregnant with our twins. I earn more money than I could ever have earned working for a bank, and my wife and I live the lifestyle I have always dreamed of. I seem to really have a gift for selling, because when I sell I don’t experience any of the stresses and pressure I constantly lived under whilst managing projects at the bank. I have become a scratch golfer and would never have dreamed a few years ago that all I needed to do to be able to enjoy this lifestyle is to start doing what I am really good at!” JvV, Krugersdorp
Someone recommended Signature Strenghts Training with Alletia and I was flabbergasted when Alletia suggested that I should consider a total career change and moving away from the management career path I had been on for a few years at the bank. I knew that my tenure at the bank represented security, a small but guaranteed bonus, great colleagues and an environment that I was familiar with. Alletia’s suggestion that I quit my job and become a sales representative because that is what I am good at was threatening and did not make any sense, but then again, I had been supplementing my income at the bank by selling paint part time for the past two years… I am the sales director now for a multi-national IT service provider, I have divorced my previous wife and I have met and married a gentle girl who is pregnant with our twins. I earn more money than I could ever have earned working for a bank, and my wife and I live the lifestyle I have always dreamed of. I seem to really have a gift for selling, because when I sell I don’t experience any of the stresses and pressure I constantly lived under whilst managing projects at the bank. I have become a scratch golfer and would never have dreamed a few years ago that all I needed to do to be able to enjoy this lifestyle is to start doing what I am really good at!” JvV, Krugersdorp
Working with my personal strengths...
“Ally helped me to identify smart strategies to fast track my career …[B]ecause I now focus on my strengths I am no longer wasting my energy on improving what I am not talented at. I have impressed Management by delivering what they expected and then delighted them with an additional bonus deliverable – all geared to showcase my strengths. It is a lot more fun at work and I feel like I am more in control of my career.” Ithumeleng K, Randburg
Giving my dreams a chance ...
“After completing my university degree I could not get a job and when I got married my dreams to become an accountant disappeared. I could not understand why I was getting fatter, more frustrated every day and hating my husband because he had a job and I did not. We argued all the time and he said I was terrible to live with. Too many doors had been slammed in my face and it made me scared to submit my CV. I had less confidence every day.
When I started my Strengths Training sessions with Alletia I realized that I am the only person who could change my circumstances and it suddenly all made sense why I was so depressed. It was because I had stopped being in charge of my mind. I set myself a goal to control my negative thoughts and today I have lost 6.7 kg and I walk 5 km per day. I look a lot better and I have been short listed for an internship at a small firm of accountants. I love what I am doing and my appetite is under control. My husband wants to know who I am and what I have done with his wife!” Matilda L, Roodepoort.
When I started my Strengths Training sessions with Alletia I realized that I am the only person who could change my circumstances and it suddenly all made sense why I was so depressed. It was because I had stopped being in charge of my mind. I set myself a goal to control my negative thoughts and today I have lost 6.7 kg and I walk 5 km per day. I look a lot better and I have been short listed for an internship at a small firm of accountants. I love what I am doing and my appetite is under control. My husband wants to know who I am and what I have done with his wife!” Matilda L, Roodepoort.
My journey through weight loss into discovering my personal power ...
“I had tried everything to lose weight but nothing worked and I decided that I would probably be fat for the rest of my life. I don’t do diets and self discipline, but Ally helped me to remain motivated by focussing on what I do well. A personalized weight loss program from Dietician Sally provided frequent rewards that kept me motivated to stick to eating sensibly. With the help Sally’s supplements I managed to curb the cravings for sweet things and I have lost 15 kgs so far. I have had a make-over with stylist Johan and now dress in colours and styles that suit me. I walked past my previous boss a week ago and she did not recognize me. I finally have the confidence to ask guys out on a date and I now know that I am a strong person – I had to be to have lost all this weight after so many years. It is hard to imagine now that I ever weighed so much!
Ally’s daily encouragement and reminders of my character strengths, combined with dietician Sally’s little pills to take thecravings away and to help me over the times when I fell down eventually got me to understand that I can do anything I set my mind to. My previous limitations existed inside my head, not in the real world. I have never felt more power in my life and I suddenly recognized that there are a lot more things I can do than what I previously imagined. I am loving my new self!" KV, Riverclub
Ally’s daily encouragement and reminders of my character strengths, combined with dietician Sally’s little pills to take thecravings away and to help me over the times when I fell down eventually got me to understand that I can do anything I set my mind to. My previous limitations existed inside my head, not in the real world. I have never felt more power in my life and I suddenly recognized that there are a lot more things I can do than what I previously imagined. I am loving my new self!" KV, Riverclub
Sharing chores, building a future building together!
After my divorce four years ago I wanted nothing more than to settle down in a new relationship with a loving man to help me rise my kids. When I met P he met most of my criteria and I thought that the few loose ends like his low income and high maintenance ex wife and kids could be worked out. But the dynamics of our family situations became more challenging as time wore on and there were early signs of cracks in our relationship. Co-ordinating ex’s and kids schedules, visiting on alternate week-ends and daily mishaps in our small house with five kids turned our lives into a permanent roller coaster ride. When my friend suggested I hook up with Alletia to help me better organize my life, I laughed out loud because most days I did not even have the resources to cook a simple meal, let alone spend time and money on coaching.
But surprisingly, Strengths Training with Ally did create a quiet space where I could set priorities in my life and identify ways P and I can help each other with chores – based on what we do best, rather than along traditional gender – based roles. He now takes care of the morning breakfast and school run so I can have a bit of time for myself and I let him have a day for fishing with his friends every second week while I mow the lawn and tend the garden. We have discussed and agreed what our priorities are, and these now are directing the flow of our energy, time and finances. I no longer feel like I am running flat-out but staying in the same place. Wednesdays are our date nights and we have stopped shouting at the kids and at each other all the time. We are saving for a holiday for just the two of us and sometimes we can even laugh about the ridiculous antics of the kids and our ex’s. M-L T, Alberton
But surprisingly, Strengths Training with Ally did create a quiet space where I could set priorities in my life and identify ways P and I can help each other with chores – based on what we do best, rather than along traditional gender – based roles. He now takes care of the morning breakfast and school run so I can have a bit of time for myself and I let him have a day for fishing with his friends every second week while I mow the lawn and tend the garden. We have discussed and agreed what our priorities are, and these now are directing the flow of our energy, time and finances. I no longer feel like I am running flat-out but staying in the same place. Wednesdays are our date nights and we have stopped shouting at the kids and at each other all the time. We are saving for a holiday for just the two of us and sometimes we can even laugh about the ridiculous antics of the kids and our ex’s. M-L T, Alberton
Family business franchised and thriving...
“With the global recession I found that my real estate business was floundering and I realized that I would have to be smarter if I wanted my business to survive and pass on to my sons. I thought that franchising could work, but I could not work out how to get people to pay for the business or how to get them trained to my standards while keeping control over my business and simultaneously making their businesses prosper.
Once my goals had been formulated Ally showed me how I could bring in new blood into my business by selecting people based on their strengths. I now successfully operate four franchises in addition to my own office and the people that have bought into my business are like family to me. It is great to know that I will be able to leave this business to my two sons – not as a struggling little family business, but as a growing network of businesses run by people who share our Christian values. I knew all along that my idea to franchise was a good one, but having someone to help me plan and devise a strategy for the expansion made me realize that I am a really brilliant ideas guy and now I manage the people who are good at selling.” MH, KZN
Once my goals had been formulated Ally showed me how I could bring in new blood into my business by selecting people based on their strengths. I now successfully operate four franchises in addition to my own office and the people that have bought into my business are like family to me. It is great to know that I will be able to leave this business to my two sons – not as a struggling little family business, but as a growing network of businesses run by people who share our Christian values. I knew all along that my idea to franchise was a good one, but having someone to help me plan and devise a strategy for the expansion made me realize that I am a really brilliant ideas guy and now I manage the people who are good at selling.” MH, KZN